From the Archive

214

It’s almost an undying hunger.
I feel his touch.
I smell his essence.
I’m weak at the thought of his embrace.
He quenches my thirst.
Soothes all aches.
Missing him is a nuisance.
He who fulfills my desires.
The ones that I wouldn’t dare share if asked. Time stands still until he’s near.

Under the Tree

He’s not your ordinary.

Old school.

You know he was raised by his grandmother.

He’s put chivalry to shame. 

Affectionate.

Admirable.

Never hesitates to make you feel special.

But, there is something about him.

Almost undone.

Incomplete.

Broken.

But, wholesome.

Worthy.

He’s not your ordinary.

Old school.

You know he was raised by his grandmother.

Guaranteed to make you fall in love.

No. 11

All of the hairs on my body rise.
My nervous system is set to relaxation.
Emotions fly high on autopilot.
My limbs become weak and I could barely hold my body weight.
You fulfill me.
Sweat trickles from my scalp, down my face, through my breasts, to your chest.
You.
Kisses from my back to my neck to the opening gap of my thighs.
Fulfill.
I love more than just the sound that escapes from that mouth… The things you do with it.
Me.
Invincibility arises… on top.
Vulnerability increases… down below.
My limbs tighten and tremble as you say you love me with your body.
Emotions are flown by your kiss.. your hands.. your..
My nerves are officially shot.
All of the hairs fall back in place.
My body cools.
You fulfill me.

Baton

Walking slowly, three steps deep. 

Knocked back ten steps, right off my feet.

I don’t think that I’m going to make it over this hurdle.

At what point will I stop myself from… I’m not even sure what I should be stopping myself from.

I’m overwhelmed by this hurdle.

My God.

When will this relay be over?

When will it start?

NeYo-Politan

I can’t help but to think about it.
I’m so anxious waiting for it.
Say it.
I can’t stop thinking about it.
I know you can feel it.
Say it.
I love everything about you.
But there’s something
about you that I fear.
I can’t tell you how I feel until you..
Say it.
Am I coming on too strong?
Say it.
Is it hard to believe?
Say it.
Are you scared like me?
Say it.
joy I feel inside in hopes for you to..
Say it.
open up my heart for you once you..
Say it.
save it. No explanation needed..
Say it.
hope the love I have you do too..
Say it.
unite our lips and bodies because the urges would be met..
Say it.
and at the end of it all, we both wont regret it.
Say it.
“Tell. Me. What. You. Want. Me. To do to you. Say it. Say it. Say it…”

The Poet Deep Inside

Steaming hot waters hit my frame

as I sit in the tub

Crying

Screaming

But, can you hear me? Huh?

My face wet already

Can you see the buckets and buckets of tears? Huh?

No.

My face lays on my burning kneecaps as I rock back and forth

What pain am I trying to ease though?

The one of the burning water.

The one of my heart rotting away.

My head fills with steam.

As my thoughts hit the walls.

Talking to them as if they are therapists.

Crying

Screaming

But, can you hear me? Huh?

My face wet already

Can you see the buckets and buckets of tears? Huh?

Huh?

Huh?

No.

My world collapses.

In the shower, I remain.

Reflection

A tear falls from my left eye.

Then my right.

The tears roll down each side of my face to meet at my chin.

One big tear then rolls down my neck.

I stare in the mirror at my face.

Dry as ever.

With two wet trails.

Cry.

Cry.

Cry.

Was I not just smiling?

No. 7

Every part of me resides beside you.
My body’s graced every corner of that room.
Prespiration.
Love fluids.
Hair follicles.
My scent must be attached to you.
She lays where I’ve laid, I bet.
Sits in that same spot on the couch, I get
Chills just thinking that she walks around
In the same graphic tee I wore
It scars my insides as I think of how I
Rolled in those sheets with you on the
Floor
In the living room
Sweating in the bathroom
Now she breathes what was my air
Without a care
That I was there
Before her
Who does she think she is?
She’s just number seven.
The four walls of that bedroom
Was my heaven. My runaway.
My safe slumber.
My heart must beat through those walls.
Fingerprints indented in your headboard.
Every part of me resides beside you.
My body’s graced the floor to the ceiling of that room.
Prespiration.
Love fluids.
Hair follicles.
I wonder if you jump in your sleep,
Thinking it’s me laying next to you.

Autumn Leaves

We got it cracking in the Spring.
We finally got thing heated in the Summer.
Even if most of the dates were a fling.
Things got cold in the Winter
Which left me to wonder
Who I was really kicking it with.
Time was wasted.
Words went unheard.
The change in the seasons It was hard to face it.
I fell into this trap of attachment.
Making me forget about way back when
Getting you to love me wasn’t a scare tactic.
There was no going back.
I was tryna save face.
Knowing damn well you didn’t have no place.
For me. For this. How did it even exist?
It’s the way that you cope with the things that you cope with
Guards so high
Who climbing that shit?
You left me helpless, weak like a late summer leaf
Til the next time we saw them.. Them Autumn Leaves.

Playlist

Where… Where will you go.
And who… who’s gonna love you like I do.
I’ll give all my love to you.
And if you need me baby, I’ll come running…
Only to you.
You are my everything.
You take me away.
And I wondered if you felt the same.
Just say the word, I’ll be on my way.
I just want to be yours, from this day forth.
I lose all control, then something takes over me.
I need your smile.
Tell me what you want and I got it, babe.
You give me someone to love.
Let my love adorn you.
No one can beat this heart of gold.
The vacancy that sat in my heart
is a space that now you hold
whether near or far, I wanna be where you are.
My friends say that they can’t see…
How a love unspoken can be so deep.
On a scale from 1-10, I’m on 100.
You mean the world to me…
but I’m not sure if love is enough…
Damn.

Limbic System

It seems as though my mild curiosity is turning into strong desire.
As if my dreams aren’t just dreams.
More like messages.
Telling me to go find what I seem to be looking for.
I may get my foot stuck into… Love.
I’ve been battling with myself for a long time now. Rearing from
being politically incorrect.
Who acts on dreams, but me?
But what if they mirror my sexual urgency… my concealed emotions..
What if the mild curiosity was in fact actual desire that I must
fulfill immediately?
What if the messages my brain is sending me are inevitable..
although my heart begs to differ?
Something about those dreams, man…
the heart grows fonder.

He Slipped Through My Fingers Like Sand

That night was classic.
The crowd was drastic.
His looks were epic.
A legend.
Something you rarely see anymore.
Gorgeous fella.
Hair smooth and long like an eagle’s feather.
Body hotter than the weather.
Damn.
He slipped through my fingers.
He smiled.
He flirted.
He liked me although I was introverted.
I was being nonchalant.
To the obvious attraction we had and…
He slipped through my fingers… through my fingers like sand.
I see him in my dreams.
Although I make it something other than what it seems.
His name floats in the air and to my ear.
Damn.
I had the chance when he was near.
I wish I could bump into him… but when?
Good fellas rarely come around again.
I can’t believe I let him slip through my fingers…
Through my fingers like sand.

For the Love of My Companion

First of all guys I’ve ever liked
To like me back
First of all guys I’ve ever liked
To not be so bad
For the love of my companion
I’ll do anything, not anything, everything
For the love of my companion
I’ll cross the ocean on foot
Do things no other girl would
First of all guys I’ve ever liked
To say they loved me
First of all guys I’ve ever liked
To kiss me the way only he does
For the love of my companion
I’ll hop from cloud to cloud
Do things no other girl could
First of all guys I’ve ever liked
To show me love’s no fairytale
First of all guys I’ve ever liked
To define what a relationship really is
For the love of my companion
I’ll fly around the world in a day
Do things no other girl should
First of all guys I’ve ever liked
To be just for me
For the love of my companion

Samantha’s Blemish

It took a while for her to stand taller.

For her to raise her subtle eyes and face the crowd.

Her friends always loved to compliment her.

She never knew her blemish to speak so loud.

Her world slowly became all about it.

How she longed for it to disappear.

Trying to get rid of it made her sick.

All she wanted was to live without fear

of being judged by an evident imperfection.

Concealers nor foundations would help.

Bleaching would ruin her divine complexion.

“This is really never going away. Well.”

Realizing it did not change her within,

she then learned to embrace her profound skin.

The Best Wound

You are the cruelest of them all.
You don’t have me fooled.
Or do you?
You had on a red suit when I first met you.
It stood out in that high school hallway.
Everyone else a blur.
I wish our first encounter lasted forever.
You made me want to live.
When we embraced, I forgot how to speak.
How to stand.
How to walk.
How to run.
Everything was a dance.
My heart danced.
The tingly beings of my center danced.
My dreams danced.
Then you took over.
You left me hopeless.
Without a lit path.
I then realized that it was just a stupid suit.
How did I become so drawn to you?
You made me want to die.
The punch-like pains in my chest.
The dry knots in my throat.
The tears that burned the waterlines of my eyes.
The hurtful yearning that kept me up at night.
You killed my spirit.
Stole my joy.
You bared the girl in me I never let loose.
You never apologize.
You just disappear.
Until you resurface through someone else.